Blogs

The “what ifs..” do matter!

I started writing blogs a month or two ago. I wanted to share how I perceive things, situations, people and the whole world around me. I wrote 3 blogs, I loved what I wrote and decided to make a Facebook page and post all my blogs there and promote. But somehow I just went into hibernation and never tried writing a blog again until now. Somehow within this last week, my Facebook page started getting a lot of likes. From a page with just 3 posts and just 4 page likes, now its 34 likes. And I felt I shouldn’t leave anything in  between, especially when I’d just started it. So I started writing a blog an hour ago from now. The Blog was about “When is the right time?”. 

I started writing “When is the right time?” keeping in mind my current situation in real life. I’m a 22 year old, brought up in an Indian society and a woman. Where I’m not sure if it is applicable to all the 22 year old Indian women, but at least I always did what my parents told me to do. Of course I have a little freedom and very accommodating and adjusting parents according to the changing times, but my decisions, if I look back now, were never really my decisions. But I always thought they were mine. Funny. I still can’t go out to meet friends without a permission, I still have to take permission to wear a particular dress I want to. But everyone says 22 year olds are adults, and they need to start taking their own decisions. Well lets start with the basics- meeting friends. But my parents say I’m not old enough to go somewhere by  myself. Okay. Agreed. Some say we’re adults, some say no, now is not the right time!.  Meeting friends was just an example. I’m not questioning my parent’s protective nature and their need to keep me safe. What my blog was really supposed to be about was, if now is not the right time, when exactly and how exactly do we know that it is the right time do to something? I want to study abroad. I always wanted to. But its been months of struggle and Im still sitting here, in my room, writing a blog about why I actually started writing a blog an hour ago which I deleted and started writing an another one.

The months of struggle of applying to colleges abroad was not because the colleges and universities weren’t accepting me. The real struggle was, the people (my parents) who actually told me to start looking for programs abroad never really let me send in applications to the programs I selected I wanted to study. So after months and years of struggling and looking for something to make them agree on a program, a country, a university, I decided- “I AM DONE!!” I do not want to study abroad. I do not even want to study. I’ll stay at home, enjoy my life till I get married. But of course, this wasn’t really an option. I took admission in some university around the place I belong to and told my parents I’d go there. All sorted. My parents were happy. I got rid from looking for a program/university/country everyday. I’m finally free. Everything sorted.

Now coming to the point, why I actually started writing This blog. While I was writing “when is the right time”  I just started thinking that when I’m 40 years old or 50 years old, do I want to regret and just think “what if…what if I had just made a little more effort and not lost hope so soon”? Do I want to make my children learn from my experiences where I failed or do I want them to learn from the situations where I fell and I got up and fought?

Just think about it. Whatever you are doing today, try picturing yourself 10-20 years later after doing it and think. Think and imagine yourself, sitting on your favourite chair and place where you find peace and wondering “what if I hadn’t done that.. would my life be the same?” Now while imagining yourself doing this and asking this very question, try focusing on what you are feeling- do you have a smile on your face or are you frowning?

Happy Happy Happy..!!

Oh My God!! This is my favourite topic. I can talk about it forever. The word Happy  itself just lights up the world around. This word sends out such positive vibrations that just hearing it our mind starts reminding us of all the happy moments ever spent throughout our life. The moments that matter of course. And the best part is, if by any chance you are just not in the mood and not in your element, think about one, just ONE happy moment in your life, you’ll get a sweet smile on your face.

We often mistake being Happy for laughing out loud or doing crazy stuff or just enjoying life. Noooo! If you are Happy, you do not have to do crazy stuff, or laugh out loud or enjoy your life. Happiness is a state of mind, an emotion, a feeling. You can sit quietly without smiling and be happy or you might be surrounded by ten thousand people and be happy. Happiness is not the same for every single person on the Earth. No two people can be happy for the same thing or in the way or act the same way when happy. It differs. It really does.

I live by this really cool principal. Okay! I don’t know if it does not sound cool to you but for me I feel I am living by the coolest principal ever. Yeah! and I plan to continue living this way forever. So the thing is, I had decided a very long time back that if something does not make me happy I will not let it be part of my life. Tough thing to do. Very tough in the real world. But somehow I have been doing it and for now I like being this way. It’s not like I don’t get depressed or sad  and have bad days or I don’t get angry. I have cried through nights, got angry on people numerous times. I can’t be happy all the time of course.  I am a human being after all. But if a person, or a job, or a task in hand, or just something, if it is giving me pain, it is wearing me down, then I am sorry boss but I cannot do it. 

When we don’t know what is going to happen the very next second in our life, how can we expect to wait months or years or days for something to get better. Oh! it is great to be an optimist. I am not telling you just give up so easily. In fact I don’t give up so easily either. But I’m talking about general situations here. All we know is what has happened and that is it. Nothing more and nothing less. The rest are just assumptions we live on and okay! let’s say a plan we live by.

What I am trying to say here is, if something makes you happy give it a chance and if it still starts wearing you off, then honey just wear them off.

I’m sure you’ll have a little idea about soccer. Even in soccer, a player is first given a warning, that is the first warning. Then if the player creates a problem again, the referee gives the player a yellow card, which is the second warning. And finally if the player still creates a problem, he is given a red card which means “okay sir buh-bye!” 

Why can’t we do the same in our lives? Why do we have to stay in a constant traumatic mood for so long and keep thinking about solutions but do nothing about it. It’s not our fault actually. It is just how we have been brought up and the society and our surroundings and the list continues. But till when? Till when are we just going to blame our societies for what we are doing to ourselves? We blame the society, our kids will blame them too. Because well.. we didn’t change a thing so the cycle continues.

We are here. On this very green earth. To do what? To live. And not to be sad, depressed, angry, helpless, frustrated. We are not here forever. We cannot wait forever. So let’s just live RIGHT NOW. Be Happy RIGHT NOW. Enjoy RIGHT NOW!!

And yeah before i forget, the best part about being happy is you look beautiful when you are happy. Try it out. It’s true.

 

 

Thank You for reading my blog. I hope you liked it. Stay tuned for my next blog.  And oh yeah!! Smile because you matter and it’s a happy day today!! 

What is love?

Am I in Love? I don’t know. Have I ever been in Love? I don’t know. Will I ever be in Love? I just don’t know. I don’t know because I don’t know what it is. Do you know what is love?

I feel love is when you wake up and smile seeing the person next to you sleeping peacefully. I feel, it is when you come back home after a bad day but see the happy eyes of the person you love and immediately forget everything about the day and smile. I feel it is when you just know that it is okay for the world to fall apart because your love is right there next to you standing like your pillar. Love is when no matter what happens, you just selflessly want to be there for the person you love the most. I feel love is the strength that makes you want to live and move forward. Love can never be your weakness.  It is that undefeatable strength which you might not know exists but is always there somewhere like a secret weapon which we ourselves have no idea about. I feel love is pure and addictive. Love is happiness and and it makes you want to dance with joy, laugh and be crazy. When you love someone, you don’t pretend to be who you are. You are just you. And this is the most important thing. I feel if you are not who you actually are when with the person you claim to love, sweetheart I am sorry but this is not love. This is just you being comfortable around someone you happen to like because we humans are a very selfish set of species and when we get what we want and desire, well I think I’d like you to connect the dots here.

Ever tried drinking a lemonade with just lemon and water? It is definitely not bad. But if you add a little sugar and a pinch of salt in it, it is one of the best drinks you can have. I think I’d like to compare ourselves with lemonade here where sugar and salt act as love and lemon and water as happiness. So when you are happy, your life is good and when you add just a little love with happiness, it becomes great.

They say love is a really special emotion. When you are in love the world seems to be a beautiful place. It is a beautiful feeling. I have had my fair share of experiences, some bad some good. But would it be fair to judge something just because we had a few bad experiences? I don’t know the emotions I have been through are anywhere close to what love is, but yes till the time those moments existed they made me feel special and happy, and those moments are the exact moments I have no intentions of forgetting or hiding them behind the bad ones. Why regret something which gave you a fair share of happiness as well?

If what I believe is anywhere close to what love actually is, I definitely am waiting to fall in love. Actually on a second thought, even if it is nowhere close to what I think it is, I still want to fall in love and experience.

 

Thank you for reading my first post. I’ll be writing more and more about the way I  see emotions and the world through my eyes. Good Day!