The “what ifs..” do matter!

I started writing blogs a month or two ago. I wanted to share how I perceive things, situations, people and the whole world around me. I wrote 3 blogs, I loved what I wrote and decided to make a Facebook page and post all my blogs there and promote. But somehow I just went into hibernation and never tried writing a blog again until now. Somehow within this last week, my Facebook page started getting a lot of likes. From a page with just 3 posts and just 4 page likes, now its 34 likes. And I felt I shouldn’t leave anything in  between, especially when I’d just started it. So I started writing a blog an hour ago from now. The Blog was about “When is the right time?”. 

I started writing “When is the right time?” keeping in mind my current situation in real life. I’m a 22 year old, brought up in an Indian society and a woman. Where I’m not sure if it is applicable to all the 22 year old Indian women, but at least I always did what my parents told me to do. Of course I have a little freedom and very accommodating and adjusting parents according to the changing times, but my decisions, if I look back now, were never really my decisions. But I always thought they were mine. Funny. I still can’t go out to meet friends without a permission, I still have to take permission to wear a particular dress I want to. But everyone says 22 year olds are adults, and they need to start taking their own decisions. Well lets start with the basics- meeting friends. But my parents say I’m not old enough to go somewhere by  myself. Okay. Agreed. Some say we’re adults, some say no, now is not the right time!.  Meeting friends was just an example. I’m not questioning my parent’s protective nature and their need to keep me safe. What my blog was really supposed to be about was, if now is not the right time, when exactly and how exactly do we know that it is the right time do to something? I want to study abroad. I always wanted to. But its been months of struggle and Im still sitting here, in my room, writing a blog about why I actually started writing a blog an hour ago which I deleted and started writing an another one.

The months of struggle of applying to colleges abroad was not because the colleges and universities weren’t accepting me. The real struggle was, the people (my parents) who actually told me to start looking for programs abroad never really let me send in applications to the programs I selected I wanted to study. So after months and years of struggling and looking for something to make them agree on a program, a country, a university, I decided- “I AM DONE!!” I do not want to study abroad. I do not even want to study. I’ll stay at home, enjoy my life till I get married. But of course, this wasn’t really an option. I took admission in some university around the place I belong to and told my parents I’d go there. All sorted. My parents were happy. I got rid from looking for a program/university/country everyday. I’m finally free. Everything sorted.

Now coming to the point, why I actually started writing This blog. While I was writing “when is the right time”  I just started thinking that when I’m 40 years old or 50 years old, do I want to regret and just think “what if…what if I had just made a little more effort and not lost hope so soon”? Do I want to make my children learn from my experiences where I failed or do I want them to learn from the situations where I fell and I got up and fought?

Just think about it. Whatever you are doing today, try picturing yourself 10-20 years later after doing it and think. Think and imagine yourself, sitting on your favourite chair and place where you find peace and wondering “what if I hadn’t done that.. would my life be the same?” Now while imagining yourself doing this and asking this very question, try focusing on what you are feeling- do you have a smile on your face or are you frowning?

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